Sta.sh
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Insecure I’m feeling pretty glum right now… and when I feel glum I like to write about it. Because sometimes it makes me feel better…
IDK I guess I just feel quite lonely really. I’ve grown apart from alot of my old friends (and just plain lost others), both recently and in the last year…
…see, where I was living before there were people about I would chat to. I didn’t have too much in common with them, but they kept me company all the same. And they took my mind off the emptiness I suppose…
And it’s not like it would be easy to just start going out more and meeting new people. It only just dawned on me this week how much I’m going to have to pay in bills. From now on I will only be left with between £40-50 per week to spend on food and other bits. That sucks 
I don’t know how I will manage…
My mum’s been helping me out with money abit. But she lives in the Eurozone, and the exchange rate between the Euro and the sterling pound (the currency where I live) is meant to be very poor. So its been costing her a fortune to send me money…
I don’t know. I’ve been acting really bitter lately, feeling really insecure about myself and about other people, letting things get to me a lot. I don’t like myself when I’m like that. I want to go back to being a more carefree me again…
And I really need to start earning money again somehow…
Ok, so here are some things I would like to accomplish by the time I next post on here :
- Start earning money again
- Get a new hobby (possibly take a college course or something)
Actually… probably just that really. Once that happens a lot of goodness will flow from it… It would be nice to meet some local friends it doesn’t cost me a fortune to go and see…
IDK. Maybe I’m just lamenting because I’m in a period of re-adjustment right now. I have a new flat, which is an amazing thing ofcourse and I’m very lucky. But its all mine and it takes time to get used to all the various responsibilities (mainly the aforementioned bills 
). I also have proper internet for the first time in two years. Atfirst it felt amazing ; like Christmas! Now I feel over-whelmed, however… I have A LOT of lost time to make up for… Doesn’t help that I’m competitive either ; things have changed so much recently. So, so much… I wish I was in a better position to keep up with it all…
Maybe I just need to chill the fuck out… Make a list of the stuff I need to do, put down my head and work through it… yea maybe that’s it…
Aside from that things are good! As stated I have a new flat ^^. My mum’ currently staying over and she’s been helping me a lot. She even put up some curtains for me, which was most kind. I have a new laptop, thanks to my wonderful friend Mike. I’ve also started playing Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate 
Peaceful 
